The Car Trouble Chronicles
by Blaze Alchemist
Summary: They never had much luck with cars but they always made the best of it. ROYAI One-shots
1. Explosions

Chapter 1: Explosions

If you have read one-shot series Royai Randomness you will notice that this was also in there (I did change the name though). Well you see this one-shot inspired two other chapters with the same theme so with out further ado I present the first chapter of the Car Trouble Trilogy.

There was a loud **BOOM **before smoke came billowing from under the hood.

"What was that?!" Mustang said jerking awake.

"That sir would be the engine," Hawkeye replied with a sigh.

"Can it be fixed?" he asked now fully awake.

"I believe its on fire sir," she answered before getting out to survey the situation.

She returned a few seconds later for the fire extinguisher that was in the back of the car. When the flames were doused she reported their predicament.

"We're going to have to walk into the nearest town and see if we can find a car"

This time it was the colonel who sighed, "Who knew an inspection visit could be this much trouble?"

When they reached the nearest rural town they were both shocked and horrified to learn that there were absolutely no cars any where in the town.

"What kind of place is this?!?" Roy howled "I have a meeting with some higher ups after the inspection that I can't miss!"

He then turned to get his Lieutenant's opinion on the matter he found that she was no longer there.

"Hawkeye?"

"Right here sir" came her voice from behind him; and she wasn't alone.

As he turned around he found himself nose to nose with a large chestnut horse.

"What the hell is that?!" he exclaimed jumping back.

"He's a horse and please quiet down Colonel or you might spook him"

"Him?" Roy blurted.

"Yes his name is Blaine," she said giving the horse an affectionate pat on the neck "One of the kind citizens has allowed us to borrow him"

The man's eye twitched. "You mean we're going to ride a _**horse**_to my meeting?"

"Its that or walk sir" she answered while continuing to pet the animal.

"Fine" he agreed with a sigh.

After a moment of silence the blonde spoke. "Can't ride can you sir?"

"Nope" he replied dully.

She just nodded before explaining to him how to get up onto the saddle. When he was safely seat on Blaine she gracefully pulled her self up in front of him. The roads they were headed down were unpaved a very rough. The Lieutenant was having no problem keeping her balance; to him she just looked natural. But on the other hand he was having a heck of a time staying on, mainly because he had no idea where to hold on. He did a good job of not letting her know until he ended up falling off the back of the horse about two miles down the road. He almost expected Riza to laugh at him as she helped him back up.

"Do you need any help colonel?" she asked when he was seated.

"Yes!" his mind screamed but his mouth didn't move, how stupid would he sound if he had to ask how to stay on a horse?

"Sir?" she asks interrupting his thoughts.

"Umm where an I supposed to hold on?" he finally asked swallowing his pride.

"Did you try holding onto the saddle?"

He nodded, he had tried that but the bumpy terrain made it hard to keep a good grip.

"Ok then try holding onto my waist."

It took that a moment to register in his head. Did she just give him permission to put his arms around her waist? Was he dreaming?

"Ok" he mumbled before slowly wrapping his arms around her slender waist.

Then she gave Blaine a nudge with he foot and they were headed down the road again at a nice steady pace.

About an hour later they stopped for a rest. While Blaine drank from a nearby creek, the two officers sat and rested on the grass.

"So Hawkeye how'd you learn how to ride like that?" he asked his curiosity getting the best of him.

"I just know the basics" she said modestly "When I was younger I had a friend whose family raised horses and she taught me how to ride"

"So that's where you always disappeared to"

"Yeah watching you and father got boring after awhile" she said referring to the time the alchemist had spent training under her father.

"Well if it's worth anything I'm very impressed Riza"

"Thank you very much R-" She started but was cut off by a loud snort that made the Colonel jump. "I think that means he's ready to go sir"

"Okay" he sighed as he got up.

So close. He had almost gotten her to drop the formalities and call him by his name, but once she said sir all hope was once again lost in the twisted world of military ranks.

"So how much longer do you think it'll take to reach the city?" he asked a little ways down the road.

"About thirty minutes" she replied

"That'll be perfect," he said after looking at his watch. They would miss the inspection but he'd be just in time for his meeting.

As they entered the city, at the time his Lieutenant predicted, he noticed they were getting a lot of strange looks. He knew he would be teased about this later, but at this point he could care less. He was one time for his meeting and had spent a good part of the day with his arms around the woman he admired most. It had been the best worst day of his life. When they at the location of his meeting he turned to her and hurried said "Thank you Riza you've saved my sorry ass again!" and kissed her on the lips before rushing off into the building. She stood there frozen in surprise for a moment before smiling. After a successful meeting he walked outside to find his loyal subordinate sitting on a bench waiting for him.

"So what'd you do with the horse?" he asked with a small smile.

"I gave him to an MP so he could be returned to his owner" she answered

"Good, did you get a car?"

She nodded.

"Well since that's all settled and our inspection has been rescheduled for tomorrow would you allow me the pleasure of taking you out to dinner?"

"Do you date better than you ride?"

He nodded.

"Then I'd love too"


	2. Mud

Chapter 2: Mud

"I can't believe this!" Mustang exclaimed as he slammed the accelerator and listened to the tires spin.

"Sir you might want to stop before some thing breaks."

He sighed. "Why do we have such bad luck with cars?"

She just shook her head. The colonel was fuming, he had finally talked the lieutenant into letting him drive and he gets stuck in some very thick mud.

"Well we'd better work on some way to get this thing unstuck "he sighed.

When they got out they learned that the only way that the car was going to move was if it was pulled out.

"Why does this keep happening?!?" he growled before picking up his foot and kicking right rear tire. Or that was what he planned to do but in reality he ended up on his back in the mud with a yelp. Hawkeye came to investigate the noise and had to clamp a hand over her mouth when she found him.

"Would you – giggle – like some – giggle – help sir?" she asked offering her hand.

"You think this is funny huh?" he questioned taking her hand

She opened her mouth to reply but before she could he pulled her down onto his lap. Under normal circumstances she would have yelled at him but that was hard to do while his lips were on hers.

"We're still on duty!" she reminded him sharply after they pulled apart.

"Yes" he said while wrapping his arms around her waist "And we're also sitting in the mud outside some random town"

She rolled her eyes before saying, "Well either way I'm not as muddy as you and would like to keep it that way"

"Oh I'll fix that!" he said and within a few seconds he had her pinned to the ground his lips on hers once again. Roy got a bit dirtier as Riza ran a hand through his hair while the other rested on his face.

A couple hours later they found themselves back at Central HQ.

"So what happened out there?" questioned Havoc while his superior waited for another car.

"Got the car stuck, found some one to pull it out, and came back here"

"That all?"

The colonel nodded before leaving to change clothes.

"What was that about Havoc?" asked Breda.

"The colonel was lying," he answered with a smirk.

"How do you know?"

"Because there was a Lt. Hawkeye sized hand print on the right side of his face."


	3. Blizzards

Chapter 3: Blizzards

Ok here's the third and final chapter of the Royai Car Trouble Trilogy! I apologize for taking so long to update this; I've been so busy lately I haven't even had time to turn on my computer let alone type up a chapter. But I finally did so I hope you enjoy it!

"I sw-swear that if w-we m-m-ake it out of th-this ali-ve I'll never to-touch another c-c-ar again" the colonel forced out as his warm breath visibly floated towards the ceiling.

It was cold, very, very cold and once again Colonel Mustang and his loyal Lieutenant were stranded. But this time was looking like the worst; they were trapped in the middle of the blizzard of the century. The temperature outside was in the negatives and the one in the car wasn't much better. Well at least this time they didn't break the car; it was just stuck in about a foot and a half of snow!

"We're g-going to have to t-ough it out s-sir" Riza said from where she was huddled up under one of the emergency blankets they had found under the back seat "No-no one will be ab-able to get out h-here anytime s-soon"

"Th-there's got to be so-something that'll help us g-get warm," he muttered while rubbing his gloved hands up and down his arms. Then he got an idea.

"S-sir what are you doing?!" exclaimed Riza as Roy pulled her as close to him as he could and covered them with the two blankets.

"Sharing body heat," he said simply.

She seemed to accept that answer and went quiet. They may be dating but she was very strict on them remaining professional while on duty. The silence wasn't an awkward one it, unlike the roaring wind out side, was peaceful. With the help of the wool blankets they were both soon comfortably warm.

"Well it doesn't look like we'll be having that dinner tonight" he said referring to the plans that had for the evening.

"That's ok" she said with a soft smile "If I have to be stuck here at least I'm stuck here with you"

" I love you Riza," he said softly while he held her tight.

Her eyes widen slightly when she heard this. It was the first time he had ever told her in words that he loved her, but she had known all along.

"I love you too Roy" she replied, snuggling closer to his warm body.

When the rest of their team finally found them a few hours after the snow storm had died down, they were faced with the new task of decided who was going to have to wake up their superiors who had fallen asleep in each other's arms.


	4. Cleaning

Chapter 4: Cleaning

Ok I believe that I owe the readers some apologies. First is for taking so long to get this chapter out. I had only planned on this story having three chapters so I hadn't really worked on any plots. That leads to the next thing I need to apologize for, I'm SO sorry that this chapter sucks so much. I've hit a big block on coming up with ideas for this series so if anyone has ANY ideas please send them to me!

All units are assigned a number of vehicles depending on the number of people; Mustang's unit had two. Normally a staff of mechanics maintained these cars, except when higher ups decided to use car care as a punishment, this was known among personnel as wash duty. After their incredibly bad string of luck with their cars the higher ups decided that it had to be an operator error and sentenced Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye to a month of washing their group's cars.

"This isn't right," grumbled Mustang as he filled a bucket with water.

"Let's just get this done" the Lieutenant said while slipping off her uniform jacket.

"Yes ma'm" he replied goofily before starting to clean one side while she worked on the other.

He, amazingly, finished his side first and proceeded to rinse it with the hose. While doing this he accidentally arched the water over the top of car and a few seconds later an angry and partly wet Lt. Hawkeye came around to his side. As she approached him he noted how the wet collar of her black undershirt was sticking to her skin and got an idea.

"Watch where you spray the water sir," she ordered sternly.

"That's no way to talk to a superior Lieutenant," he barked in pretend anger before soaking her with the hose.

He knew that he had about twenty seconds to admire her perfectly toned body, via the shirt that was sticking to her like a second skin, before she pulled a weapon from somewhere on her person and got her revenge. But boy was it worth it. When she saw that he was staring blushed light shade of pink before telling him there was some soap in his hair. Hearing this he automatically patted the top of his head, that hand happened to be covered in soapsuds. While he gawked at his own stupidity she swiftly snatched the hose from his hands and rinsed him with it.

"So are we even now?" he asked after the shock wore off.

She was trying to unstick her hair from her face; he thought she looked even hotter when her hair was down, as she answered, "I believe so"

"Good because we need to finish this and get some dry clothes, I'd hate to see you get sick"

She gave him a small but sweet smile and said "Thank you sir"

Any other day if you asked Roy Mustang he would say that water is evil but that day it worked in his favor.


	5. Traffic

Chapter 5: Traffic Chapter 5: Traffic

Luck just didn't like Roy Mustang. He had finally got the nerve to ask Riza on a date, and she had actually said yes, and now they were stuck in traffic. The two were on their way to a lake outside Central for a picnic and they came across a truck that had been flipped on its side by another car. It would have been pretty easy to get around if the truck hadn't been blocking all of the two-lane road. It also didn't help that said truck was hauling nails, which were now scattered around the crash site.

"I get the feeling were going to be stuck here for a while." He said as he turned around to see there was a line of cars forming behind them.

He looked to the left to see if he could turn around in the other lane but it was crowded with emergency vehicles and nails. Turning around was officially not an option.

She just nodded and a mildly awkward silence fell over them. Immediately his mind told him that if he wanted a chance at a second date he needed to do something.

"So Riza since we're stuck here do you want to play a game?"

"It depends" she said, "What's the game?"

She knew with him it was always smart to get the whole story before agreeing to anything.

"It goes like this, I ask you a question, you answer it, and then I answer it." He explained "And then its you turn to ask a question."

"I think I can handle that." She answered.

"Ok what's your favorite color?"

"Green" she said

"Yellow."

She thought for a moment then asked, "What's your favorite thing to do in your spare time?"

"Nap." He said with a grin.

"Read."

"What's your preferred weapon?"

"If I had to have one I'd say any 9mm handgun, but I'd prefer to not need a weapon at all." She explained with a slight frown on her face. "And you?"

"Which ever one you're using to save my sorry butt." He said, attempting to get her to smile again. And it worked.

They had covered every topic from childhood pets to their most embarrassing moment when they were thrown out of their game by the sound of honking horns. Roy looked out the windshield and was amazed to not only see completely open road but also that it was now totally dark.

"It looks like we'll have to reschedule that picnic." He said as he turned around.

Some how his hand found hers and they held hands until they reached her house.

"Thank you Roy I had a wonderful time." She said as he parked the car.

"Thank you, it wouldn't have wanted to be stuck with anyone else." He said as he scribbled some thing down on a scrap of paper.

She was about to open the door when he spoke.

"Can I ask one more question?"

"Sure."

"What's you're deepest secret?" he asked.

She was silent.

"Come on Riza it can't be that bad and I promise not to laugh." He urged.

"Think you are the most amazing man I've ever met." She confessed with a light blush on her cheeks.

He leaned over and gently pressed his lips to hers. When they pulled away she smiled and said "Good night Roy." And exited the car.

When she got inside she realized that she had been so busy trying to make sure he didn't see her blush like a little girl, that she had forgot to make him answer the question.

"Oh well." She sighed as she hung up her jacket.

As she did this a small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. She unfolded it and found a note written in Roy's handwriting.

_My deepest secret is that I am completely in love with you._


End file.
